Editor’s Note: Earlier this year, we introduced you to Milwaukee, Wisconsin musician Jorge Vallentine, who performs under the moniker VLNTYN via a session and Singles Spotlight highlighting his song “Swimming in the Sun.”
According to his bio, his music takes a deep, hard look at “facing grief, loss, heartbreak, despair, trauma, and the flaws of being human head on.” His music is a “reminder that we’re strong enough to look into the dark, to find and save ourselves….Fans of Bright Eyes, Brand New, Elliott Smith, and the Mountain Goats will feel at home among VLNTYN’s intimate vocals, confessional lyrics, raw emotion, and indie rock vibes.”
On Thursday, May 29th, he’s releasing a new three-song EP titled The Darker Side of Being Human, which features the aforementioned “Swimming in the Sun.” He’ll celebrate it with a release show at The Sugar Maple in Milwaukee.
Below, Vallentine penned an exclusive essay about his recent journey trying to find his ideal of of what constitutes a good person and how it’s reflected on the EP.
Dear friend,
You’re not a bad person.
If reading that makes you feel something, this short essay, EP, and project are for you.
Some deep part of me has always felt a strong need to be “good”. I chalk it up to a mix of
things: being a middle child who was praised for his “good” behavior (i.e. quiet and out of the way), the way my mom has always seen me as special and told me so, and experiencing my parents being hurtful to each other in ways I never wanted to repeat (but later would anyway).
Whatever the reason, being a “good person” became an important part of my identity.
That’s why when my marriage started unraveling in my early thirties, instigated by a series of poor choices I made that eventually led to divorce and the end of a twelve-year relationship, I went through an identity crisis and hit rock bottom.
It took me a long time to see it, but there were two major lessons I hadn’t learned yet at the core of how I wound up single, sleeping on my mom’s couch, and losing everything I cared about:
1. I had never fully defined who I wanted to be as a person.
2. I had never fully committed to being honest about and correcting my shortcomings in a way that would move me towards that ideal self every day.
Looking back, it would be easy to shame myself, to say I was selfish, childish, and ignorant in so many ways, but the more I’ve defined my ideal self and values and worked to become that person, the more I find grace for my past self.
The truth is, we’re all flawed.
Most importantly, at the very bottom of the emotional hole I found myself in just a few years ago, I learned that the only way out was to accept myself. I had been carrying around so much shame for hurting myself and others and also for allowing myself to be abused throughout my life and even in my marriage, that I couldn’t move forward in a healthy way. And it was finally time to start letting go of it.
I started to change my black-and-white thinking and realize that I wasn’t just good or bad; I was human. I started to accept that I could be imperfect, like everyone else, and allow myself to be that imperfect person even as I started to hold myself to being better every day.
I started to fully understand that everyone has a shadow, and the real problem is refusing to acknowledge it and allowing it to grow and overtake us.
It was the shift towards loving myself even at my worst that gave me the freedom to start
transforming my darkness into light.
“The Darker Side of Being Human” and this project is built on songs of transformation. They’re songs about my journey in facing the dark parts of myself and the dark parts of the world, and they’re a reminder that you’ll have to face your own shadows someday, too.
And, when you do, I hope you’ll be strong, honest, and kind.
I promise it’ll all be worth it.
– Jorge
You can follow and listen to VLNTYN at the links below:
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3OaHjmFCcak0xwFVxIEvbV?si=15b7193763a64f2d
Tiktok: www.tiktok.com/@vlntyntheband
YouTube: www.youtube.com/@vlntyntheband
Instagram: www.instagram.com/vlntyntheband
Bandcamp: vlntyntheband.bandcamp.com
Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/vlntyntheband.bsky.social
Jorge Vallentine
Contributor
Jorge Vallentine is a Milwaukee, Wisconsin based musician who tours as VLNTYN
